Just a little education

Now we have a government established "Do Not Call List" where you can register your phone number so that you'll no longer get irritating phone calls from telemarketers, except charities, polling and market research firms, newspapers and, of course, political parties. Great, a screen door that keeps out everything but flies and mosquitoes. Personally I don't plan to register, though I might be persuaded if they call and ask me to.

This is one of those problems better solved by a little individual initiative than by government. All we really need is a little education about how to use a telephone.

1. If you don't want to be interrupted during the supper hour, or at any other time, you just turn off the ringer, and check your messages later.
2. If you do happen to get a call you don't want, at a time you don't want it, you just say, politely, thank you but I'm not interested, and then - this is the really important part - hang up. It's your phone. You don't have to answer it; you don't have to talk.

Now, I say I'm not going to sign up, but here's the kicker. If 90% of you people out there do sign up, the 10% of us left over are going to get all your calls. When my message box is full, and my patience box is empty, I just might end up on the list after all. But, till then, I still think education's the answer.

And while we’re at it, let’s see if we can teach women how to use a toilet.

1. If the seat's up, put it down.
2. When you're done, put it back where you found it.

And, if those last few insensitive, sexist comments ever become public, I promise I will apologize and resign.

Would the real insensitive jackass please stand up?

In my last posing I made light of some of the “scandals” of this election. Though I believe real scandals should be taken seriously, the media have a way of making everything a big deal. We need to always remember that the media are not neutral parties in politics, or anything for that matter. They make their living selling papers, magazines and air-time. Can you remember the last time you saw the headline “Don’t worry, everything’s just fine”?

I do think there’s a serious side to all this scandal nonsense, however, and the core of the problem is found in the parties. Negative advertising has it’s place in a campaign; sometimes you need to tell people why they shouldn’t vote for the other guy. But it’s hard to resist just digging up anything, fair or unfair, relevant or irrelevant, that will make your opponent look bad. In the end, a lot of people get hurt, and eventually the impression‘s created that all parties and politicians are sleazy, dishonest, foolish and unreliable. I think this is a major cause of the low voter turnouts we’re seeing lately. Many of the people who stay away from the polls are not apathetic; they’re just voting “none of the above”.

A good example of the sort of thing I’m talking about is this story about Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz making jokes about the listeriosis crisis. Apparently, during a conference call with others who were working with him on this devastating problem, he said that the situation, for the government, was like "death by a thousand cold cuts." And, in another situation, when he was told of a listeriosis death in Prince Edward Island, he quipped, “O please tell me it’s Wayne Easter”, the Liberal agriculture critic from that province, who’s been making his life very difficult in recent weeks.

The important thing to note about these comments is their context. These were not things Ritz said publicly, or to people who had lost loved ones to listeriosis. They were quips made within the circle of those who were working long hours, presumably because they took the situation very seriously. The really interesting question isn’t, why would he say this sort of thing? but, why do we all say this sort of thing?

Just the other day a woman shared with me several joking comments made by the man who was fitting her with a prosthetic eye. She did not feel he was being uncaring or inappropriate. Quite the opposite. She felt he was negotiating a very sensitive matter in a spirit of joy and hope. But if these same comments were taken and shared with some of his other patients his reputation might be seriously damaged. Human communication is very complex, and context is everything.

Of course, when Ritz’ comments are taken out of context this way, he can do nothing but apologize and accept the blame for causing pain to those who have lost loved ones. But we should note that there is some unidentified person behind the scenes, who made these private comments public for some perceived political advantage. That person is the one who had something to gain by causing the pain. And they didn’t care how much suffering they caused. Someone out there owes us all an apology.

Only in Canada

I confess, I actually enjoy elections. I know they cost millions, and shut down the country for six weeks, but so do the Stanley Cup playoffs. And for those of you who anticipated that this election would be boring, at least it hasn’t disappointed. We’re only half way through the campaign and already nothing’s happening.

You see, in Canada we don’t over stress the system and collapse the economy like they’ve done in the United States. I tried to tell them that a black dude, a girl dude, and an old dude, all running at the same time would be too much, but would anyone listen? nooooooooooooooo! If this keeps up, in four years they just might get their first chance to elect a poor dude.

In Canada everyone’s complaining about goofs and gaffs, but if it weren’t for these who would even know we we’re having an election? A Conservative site hosted a video cartoon that featured a puffin pooping on Liberal leader Stephane Dion. Harper had to apologize, calling it tasteless and inappropriate. To be sure, but I have to admit I found it a little funnier when I learned that the puffin is being promoted by Liberal MP Michael Ignatieff as the symbol of the Liberal Party. It should be noted, however, that Mr. Ignatieff, who opposed Dion for the leadership, was promoting the puffin even before the cartoon came out.

The NDP have lost two candidates over their use of illegal drugs , the Liberals have lost one over things he said about Mohawks (the people, not the hairstyle), and the Conservatives have lost one for suggesting that the beheading of a man on a bus near Winnipeg might have been prevented if the other passengers had had concealed handguns. Not a good idea as far as I’m concerned, though if NDP candidate Julian West had been concealing a handgun on his person at the time, perhaps he wouldn’t be apologizing today for taking his clothes off in front of minors to go skinny dipping. I’ve read several versions of this story and none of them even bothers to mention if it was a mixed group or all boys. Perhaps it doesn’t matter these days, but they do note that no parents or kids complained.

Come on folks, what more could you want in an election? Puffin poop, handguns, drugs, nudity. What a country!!!!

Pastor Rick Warren has done a good thing.

I’m sure some of you out there have been following the presidential election in the States. It’s really quite amazing, particularly from a Canadian point of view. For one thing, it’s so-o-o-o-o-o-o lo-o-o-o-o-ong. Up here we choose our leaders by flipping a loonie, but down there they seem to have to flip a whole roll of loonies. Perhaps they just have more loonies than we do, but somehow I doubt it.

One of the interesting differences in the US, however, is the influence of Evangelical Christians, or what they call the Christian Right. Though I often disagree with the positions of my right-wing brethren and sistren – generally more right than Christian, and more wrong than right – I do think people of faith should have influence. It’s just that I think Evangelicals are much too quick to give knee-jerk answers – perhaps if we spent a little more time on them they wouldn’t jerk so much – when we really should be contributing thoughtful, i.e., prayerful questions.

For this reason I was particularly impressed with what Saddleback Church did a few weeks ago. They hosted a forum where each candidate was asked to respond to questions that had been submitted from the huge Saddleback internet constituency. Though there were a few “faith” questions, for the most part, they were the sorts of things anyone might ask. But they gave each candidate about an hour, in a very civil atmosphere, to respond to as many questions as the time allowed.

I think this was a much more useful forum than the debates we often see. Debates may be good theatre, but is it relevant that our Prime Minister or President can or can’t win a verbal joust? We need to learn who they are, what they want to do, and why they want to do it. And this event, where they didn’t address one another at all, but spoke to the people, worked for me.

Anyway, click on the link “Saddleback Forum” and tell me what you think. It would take you a couple of hours to hear the whole thing, but even some of it helps to push past the melanin/estrogen/Geritol circus they’ve been having down there. I think perhaps they actually got to a few things that really matter, and I wish we could do this here in Canada.

Ten Good Things About Canadian Elections

Now that the inevitable whining has subsided I hope we're all going to have a great time electing a government to run the country for another six weeks to four years. I've never really understood why folks who claim to love democracy crab and complain so much when Parliament's dissolved and we head off to the polls. So I'd like to share ten reasons why Canadian elections are a good thing:

10 - They're a cynical, stage-managed, televised program designed to create the illusion that something is really happening, i.e., reality television.

9 - They shut down Ottawa for a whole month and a half so nothing gets done.

8 - They give the clairvoyants in Green Party and NDP a chance to tell us what the Liberals and Conservatives will be telling us in ten years.

7 - They provide career opportunities for politicians who would otherwise be selling those gas-guzzling, global warming used cars.

6 - They account for about 90% of the fiction and fantasy literature produced in Canada.

5 - They give us something to watch on TV now that we've figured out which two CFL teams won't make the play-offs.

4 - They're the only violent team sport that doesn't yet require helmets and face masks.

3 - They pump millions of dollars into the economy that otherwise might be squandered on daycare programs and shelters for the homeless.

2 - They provide an infinite number of things for vanity driven, self-important idiots to blog about.

1 - They provide a six week opportunity for us all to participate in soul-stirring, nation-building political discussion and debate, and to laugh at the Americans who have to do it for two years.

Jesus said, “When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing”. Well, I go him one better when I mark my ballot; even my right hand doesn't know what it's doing.

Churchill said, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others”. I suppose he'd never heard of a Ouija board.

And I say, “If you don't know who to vote for, don't worry about it. In a year or so we'll probably all get a chance to do it again.

Let’s just keep turning down the heat.

We often hear that Islam is steeped in war, and that the Koran counsels ongoing warlike attitudes and continual war upon the infidels (non-Muslims). There is truth in these claims. In the seventh century, Islam was established in Arabia by military conquest. And, in this respect, it is much more like Judaism than Christianity.

Most of us have a highly sanitized, Sunday School view of Moses, but if we read thoughtfully we will see that, as well as being a prophet and the receiver of the law, he was a fearsome military leader. The Bible is quite clear (Exodus through Joshua) that Israel was established in Canaan by military conquest. So the warrior-prophet, Mohamed, is much more comparable to Moses than to Jesus, who never conducted or counseled violence of any kind.

Jews, however, have managed to foster those peaceful elements of their faith, and to limit the more warlike elements, to the point that most people today, with the possible exception of those who are presently at war with Israel, would recognize Judaism as a religion of peace. And most Moslems today are trying to do the same thing with Islam. They are fostering a spiritual understanding of jihad, and Christians should be encouraging them in this effort, rather than inciting fear every time the word appears. Words like "jihad", because of their history of bloodshed and violence, are admittedly problematic, but no more so than the word "crusade", which, though it never appears in the Bible, has posed a problem for Christians in much the same way.

Words are fascinating, but so problematic that sometimes I wish we could all just hum for a while. "Islam", for example, means "submission" and most Muslims interpret this as something they themselves must do before God, but some people suggest it should be understood as something they intend to inflict upon others. It, no doubt, has a terrible history, but it isn't inevitably defined by its history. I wonder what the verb "convert" meant for those who, during the Crusades, were forced to submit to Jesus at sword point. Surely Islam must be allowed to grow and evolve over the centuries in the same way Christianity and Judaism have.

Of course it's right and prudent to be concerned about militant anything, including Islam. But we must be very careful to not stir up fear in people. John tells us, "There is no fear in love…" 1 John 4:18, so it’s fear that makes love so difficult for us. And we all see what fear can do, whether promoted by Jews and Muslims in the Middle East, or Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland, or the fine, upstanding Christians in the Ku Klux Klan.

My little contribution to this pacifying effort is simply to encourage people to refuse to send emails around that may have the effect of stirring up fear. "…perfect love drives out fear…" 1 John 4:18 And I’m sure we can do this in spite of our fear, with God’s help of course. For, as our Muslim friends so often remind us, GOD IS GREAT.

The Shack

I make a modest attempt to keep up with popular spirituality, which means, among other things, reading New York Times best sellers once in a while. Of course a best seller is just a book that, for whatever reason, is selling like crazy, so I wasn’t particularly surprised to find that The Shack, by William P Young, is not a great book. But I’m still inclined to recommend it.

I don’t really like the style. It feels overwritten in places and, like too many Evangelical novels, tends toward drippy sentimentality. And it’s really mystifying to me that Young would begin the book with a Larry Norman quote that’s actually a very unpoetic reworking of a well known verse by Robert Frost. I feared for a moment that he was avoiding non-Christian references, but he later quoted Rousseau, Kahlil Gibran, and Albert Einstein. Go figure.

Apart from these style matters the only thing that seriously bothered me was The Missy Project outlined at the end of the book. This is a pretentious, self indulgent, marketing scheme in which readers who’ve “been touched by the wonder of this book” are asked to flog it as widely as possible, buying copies to give to family, friends and even total strangers. It seems to be working, however, so what do I know? One of the reviewers I read said he’s been buying them by the case. Hmmm, so that’s how you produce a best seller. Perhaps the Gideons could start placing it in hotel rooms alongside that other best seller. Come to think of it, maybe it’s naïve to imagine that good books can make it on their own.

All this being said, there are some things about The Shack I did enjoy. For example, the presentation of God in three persons was creative, and the Father appearing as a black woman was an interesting way to challenge the traditional, unbiblical stereotype. It was also fun to see Her cooking and cleaning and listening to heavy metal, secular music just for enjoyment and because She loves the artists. – Works for me. If we are to believe John 3:16 God loves Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin just as much as The Gaithers and Casting Crowns. – And She steadfastly insists that She’s “especially fond” of all of them.

The discussion of suffering and God’s purposes is also very worthwhile, as are the discussions of heaven, the church, God’s relationship with non-believers, and the importance and nature of forgiveness. These are matters we need to reflect on more thoughtfully than we often do, and this book gets the wheels turning. And I particularly appreciated the Father’s insistence that She never, for a moment, turned Her back on Jesus when he was dying on the cross; a view I've been promoting for many years. – And doesn’t this gender thing mess with your mind?

Of course, I have some theological disagreements with this book, as I do with almost everything, but who cares? it’s well worth reading. It won’t change the world, but if it manages to change our minds about a few things that’s more than enough to ask.

So many contemporary Christian books are dogmatic and narrow, answering questions no one’s asking. This one is open and inquisitive, questioning answers too many have accepted for too long. And it’s also kinda fun.