Just a little education

Now we have a government established "Do Not Call List" where you can register your phone number so that you'll no longer get irritating phone calls from telemarketers, except charities, polling and market research firms, newspapers and, of course, political parties. Great, a screen door that keeps out everything but flies and mosquitoes. Personally I don't plan to register, though I might be persuaded if they call and ask me to.

This is one of those problems better solved by a little individual initiative than by government. All we really need is a little education about how to use a telephone.

1. If you don't want to be interrupted during the supper hour, or at any other time, you just turn off the ringer, and check your messages later.
2. If you do happen to get a call you don't want, at a time you don't want it, you just say, politely, thank you but I'm not interested, and then - this is the really important part - hang up. It's your phone. You don't have to answer it; you don't have to talk.

Now, I say I'm not going to sign up, but here's the kicker. If 90% of you people out there do sign up, the 10% of us left over are going to get all your calls. When my message box is full, and my patience box is empty, I just might end up on the list after all. But, till then, I still think education's the answer.

And while we’re at it, let’s see if we can teach women how to use a toilet.

1. If the seat's up, put it down.
2. When you're done, put it back where you found it.

And, if those last few insensitive, sexist comments ever become public, I promise I will apologize and resign.

Would the real insensitive jackass please stand up?

In my last posing I made light of some of the “scandals” of this election. Though I believe real scandals should be taken seriously, the media have a way of making everything a big deal. We need to always remember that the media are not neutral parties in politics, or anything for that matter. They make their living selling papers, magazines and air-time. Can you remember the last time you saw the headline “Don’t worry, everything’s just fine”?

I do think there’s a serious side to all this scandal nonsense, however, and the core of the problem is found in the parties. Negative advertising has it’s place in a campaign; sometimes you need to tell people why they shouldn’t vote for the other guy. But it’s hard to resist just digging up anything, fair or unfair, relevant or irrelevant, that will make your opponent look bad. In the end, a lot of people get hurt, and eventually the impression‘s created that all parties and politicians are sleazy, dishonest, foolish and unreliable. I think this is a major cause of the low voter turnouts we’re seeing lately. Many of the people who stay away from the polls are not apathetic; they’re just voting “none of the above”.

A good example of the sort of thing I’m talking about is this story about Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz making jokes about the listeriosis crisis. Apparently, during a conference call with others who were working with him on this devastating problem, he said that the situation, for the government, was like "death by a thousand cold cuts." And, in another situation, when he was told of a listeriosis death in Prince Edward Island, he quipped, “O please tell me it’s Wayne Easter”, the Liberal agriculture critic from that province, who’s been making his life very difficult in recent weeks.

The important thing to note about these comments is their context. These were not things Ritz said publicly, or to people who had lost loved ones to listeriosis. They were quips made within the circle of those who were working long hours, presumably because they took the situation very seriously. The really interesting question isn’t, why would he say this sort of thing? but, why do we all say this sort of thing?

Just the other day a woman shared with me several joking comments made by the man who was fitting her with a prosthetic eye. She did not feel he was being uncaring or inappropriate. Quite the opposite. She felt he was negotiating a very sensitive matter in a spirit of joy and hope. But if these same comments were taken and shared with some of his other patients his reputation might be seriously damaged. Human communication is very complex, and context is everything.

Of course, when Ritz’ comments are taken out of context this way, he can do nothing but apologize and accept the blame for causing pain to those who have lost loved ones. But we should note that there is some unidentified person behind the scenes, who made these private comments public for some perceived political advantage. That person is the one who had something to gain by causing the pain. And they didn’t care how much suffering they caused. Someone out there owes us all an apology.

Only in Canada

I confess, I actually enjoy elections. I know they cost millions, and shut down the country for six weeks, but so do the Stanley Cup playoffs. And for those of you who anticipated that this election would be boring, at least it hasn’t disappointed. We’re only half way through the campaign and already nothing’s happening.

You see, in Canada we don’t over stress the system and collapse the economy like they’ve done in the United States. I tried to tell them that a black dude, a girl dude, and an old dude, all running at the same time would be too much, but would anyone listen? nooooooooooooooo! If this keeps up, in four years they just might get their first chance to elect a poor dude.

In Canada everyone’s complaining about goofs and gaffs, but if it weren’t for these who would even know we we’re having an election? A Conservative site hosted a video cartoon that featured a puffin pooping on Liberal leader Stephane Dion. Harper had to apologize, calling it tasteless and inappropriate. To be sure, but I have to admit I found it a little funnier when I learned that the puffin is being promoted by Liberal MP Michael Ignatieff as the symbol of the Liberal Party. It should be noted, however, that Mr. Ignatieff, who opposed Dion for the leadership, was promoting the puffin even before the cartoon came out.

The NDP have lost two candidates over their use of illegal drugs , the Liberals have lost one over things he said about Mohawks (the people, not the hairstyle), and the Conservatives have lost one for suggesting that the beheading of a man on a bus near Winnipeg might have been prevented if the other passengers had had concealed handguns. Not a good idea as far as I’m concerned, though if NDP candidate Julian West had been concealing a handgun on his person at the time, perhaps he wouldn’t be apologizing today for taking his clothes off in front of minors to go skinny dipping. I’ve read several versions of this story and none of them even bothers to mention if it was a mixed group or all boys. Perhaps it doesn’t matter these days, but they do note that no parents or kids complained.

Come on folks, what more could you want in an election? Puffin poop, handguns, drugs, nudity. What a country!!!!

Pastor Rick Warren has done a good thing.

I’m sure some of you out there have been following the presidential election in the States. It’s really quite amazing, particularly from a Canadian point of view. For one thing, it’s so-o-o-o-o-o-o lo-o-o-o-o-ong. Up here we choose our leaders by flipping a loonie, but down there they seem to have to flip a whole roll of loonies. Perhaps they just have more loonies than we do, but somehow I doubt it.

One of the interesting differences in the US, however, is the influence of Evangelical Christians, or what they call the Christian Right. Though I often disagree with the positions of my right-wing brethren and sistren – generally more right than Christian, and more wrong than right – I do think people of faith should have influence. It’s just that I think Evangelicals are much too quick to give knee-jerk answers – perhaps if we spent a little more time on them they wouldn’t jerk so much – when we really should be contributing thoughtful, i.e., prayerful questions.

For this reason I was particularly impressed with what Saddleback Church did a few weeks ago. They hosted a forum where each candidate was asked to respond to questions that had been submitted from the huge Saddleback internet constituency. Though there were a few “faith” questions, for the most part, they were the sorts of things anyone might ask. But they gave each candidate about an hour, in a very civil atmosphere, to respond to as many questions as the time allowed.

I think this was a much more useful forum than the debates we often see. Debates may be good theatre, but is it relevant that our Prime Minister or President can or can’t win a verbal joust? We need to learn who they are, what they want to do, and why they want to do it. And this event, where they didn’t address one another at all, but spoke to the people, worked for me.

Anyway, click on the link “Saddleback Forum” and tell me what you think. It would take you a couple of hours to hear the whole thing, but even some of it helps to push past the melanin/estrogen/Geritol circus they’ve been having down there. I think perhaps they actually got to a few things that really matter, and I wish we could do this here in Canada.

Ten Good Things About Canadian Elections

Now that the inevitable whining has subsided I hope we're all going to have a great time electing a government to run the country for another six weeks to four years. I've never really understood why folks who claim to love democracy crab and complain so much when Parliament's dissolved and we head off to the polls. So I'd like to share ten reasons why Canadian elections are a good thing:

10 - They're a cynical, stage-managed, televised program designed to create the illusion that something is really happening, i.e., reality television.

9 - They shut down Ottawa for a whole month and a half so nothing gets done.

8 - They give the clairvoyants in Green Party and NDP a chance to tell us what the Liberals and Conservatives will be telling us in ten years.

7 - They provide career opportunities for politicians who would otherwise be selling those gas-guzzling, global warming used cars.

6 - They account for about 90% of the fiction and fantasy literature produced in Canada.

5 - They give us something to watch on TV now that we've figured out which two CFL teams won't make the play-offs.

4 - They're the only violent team sport that doesn't yet require helmets and face masks.

3 - They pump millions of dollars into the economy that otherwise might be squandered on daycare programs and shelters for the homeless.

2 - They provide an infinite number of things for vanity driven, self-important idiots to blog about.

1 - They provide a six week opportunity for us all to participate in soul-stirring, nation-building political discussion and debate, and to laugh at the Americans who have to do it for two years.

Jesus said, “When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing”. Well, I go him one better when I mark my ballot; even my right hand doesn't know what it's doing.

Churchill said, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others”. I suppose he'd never heard of a Ouija board.

And I say, “If you don't know who to vote for, don't worry about it. In a year or so we'll probably all get a chance to do it again.