Saturday, October 18, 2008

Normal just ain’t what it used to be.

It seems, now that the election’s over and the economy’s collapsed, we’ll all just have to get used to a new normal. I hear Stephan Dion is getting on with his life. He kept telling us that he could speak the truth in both official languages better than Harper could in either, and now he’s finally heard the truth in the only language a politician really understands. I know it must be hard for him to realize he will never be Prime Minister. Do you remember when you first realized it? Came as a shock, eh? For me it happened in a spelling bee in grade four. They gave me the word “parlament”, at least I thought that’s what it was. What a stupid word! As I heard the buzzer telling me I could return to my seat, and looked around the room at the knowing expressions on the faces of my teacher and classmates, I experienced an epiphany. There will always be an “i” in parliament, but probably no “me”. What a stupid world!

And Warren Buffet says he’s going to start investing in the stock market again. Hey, wait a minute, isn’t he Mr. Stock Market? Has he been out for a while and we didn’t know it? O well, I’m sure there’s a good explanation.

You know, as strange as it may seem, the new world order looks pretty good from my perch down here. It appears, for example that, come next January, our friends to the south will have one less reason for calling it “The White House”. But, for me, it’s not about having a “family of colour” move in; it’s about all the people being able to identify with their institutions of power. And I think this is a much better White House renovation than Bush’s plan of vinyl siding.

So I hope the new world order is working out for you too. It’s really not so bad. The other day I heard Stephen Harper say that we’re going to continue being the “true north, strong and free” for the foreseeable future, and I see that American money still insists “In God we trust”, not “trusted”. And for every job that’s lost a new one opens up. Why, just look at what’s happening in England. As Winston Churchill declared in the darkest days of a former national trial, “We will never surrender!!!”

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is there some significance to the fact that, just as Warren Buffet started to invest in the stock market again, the print got smaller?

Scary, that.

Dan Colborne said...

I wondered about that too, but there seemed to be nothing I could do to change it. Maybe something's trying to tell us something. Wouldn't it be nice if tea leaves would learn to speak English, or if we could learn Tea?