In response to my New Year’s posting a friend shared some thoughts about depression and thankfulness. (see comment Jan.1) She got me thinking, as she usually does, and this is some of what turned up.
Many years ago a man in my congregation asked me to visit his wife because she was so depressed. The problem was that she desperately wanted a new house. It wasn’t that their house was inadequate, but some of their friends had bought new houses and she just couldn’t bear the thought of “making do”.
As I sat with her and her husband she poured out her heart. They had been negotiating on her “dream home”, and had been out bid. But this was not the worst of it. The man who had out bid them was a minister.
“Can you imagine a minister being able to afford a better house than we can?”, she asked indignantly. “No”, I replied, controlling my expression as best I could, “I most certainly can’t.” And I couldn’t. I considered contacting this guy to ask him how he did it, but I never did, so I still can’t. I’ve often wondered what passed between the husband and wife after I left .
One of the costs of our consumer economy is the constant pressure to buy things. For some this has become the meaning of Christmas; the last opportunity to give the economy a boost before we start a new year. But who of us will go out and buy things if we’re content with what we have already, or even worse, if we’re content with not having things? So, billions of dollars are spent every year to multiply our discontent. So, I don’t think this woman was entirely to blame.
Lesson 1 – Oprah Winfrey is absolutely right when she encourages us to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, even if she does have to interrupt the message from time to time for a word from her sponsor.
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1 comment:
Hi Dan,
I have been writing about just this topic - and I note that this desire to buy has been created with our consumerist culture as a way to "spur the economy." I traced the growth of liberalism in the 20th century and with it the change from valuing a person based upon character to the value of a person based upon beauty. Because beauty can be bought - a new home, a new face, a new thing or two -- we needed to create a consumer culture so as to buy the things we have to sell. So, your point not to blame the woman is probably a wise thing -- she is the product (perhaps a bit thoughtless and insensitive) of what we have done in the name of consumerism.
Glad you are still writing and thinking. Great stories.
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