First Day of Advent
Luke 1:38 "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."
“I am the Lord’s servant.” What else could I say? Like Ruth, Deborah, Esther, I just am. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. But I really had no idea.
Sounds crazy, but when my mother realized I was pregnant I thought they’d all believe me. But I didn’t get a chance to say much. Mama was embarrassed and Daddy was furious. They assumed that it was Joseph, and when he denied it they thought that he was lying. They hoped, at least, that he was lying. What else could they hope?
They sent me to stay with relatives for a while. It’s what they do with all the girls when this happens. And Joseph started making plans to call off the marriage. That’s what they do when they’re not the father. Sometimes even when they are.
When I arrived at Aunt Elizabeth’s I was pretty nervous, but I got a huge surprise. She ran to me and hugged me and said she thought it was all just wonderful. She said her baby was jumping inside of her for joy, and that I was blessed, and my baby was even more special than hers. And she thanked me for coming, like I was doing her a favour.
It was then I found out about Uncle Zechariah’s illness. He couldn’t talk, but he wrote down for me about the angel who had come to him, and how he thought he’d be okay when the baby came. And by the time I left for home I had lots to think about. And things were better too. Joseph had had a dream and had asked my parents if we could just go ahead with everything. They took it as a confession, but he said he didn’t care what people thought. Amazing!
We had a little family celebration, people talked, and when it was about time Joseph and I went away to have our baby on our own. This is how we do things when babies come this way, and no one really wants to be involved.
And it actually worked out fine. Joseph had to go to Bethlehem for the census, and I just went along. The town was crowded with visitors and we couldn’t find any place to stay, so we had our first born in the corner of a little animal shelter. And his first little bed was a manger of all things. It wasn’t the way I wanted to have my first baby, but it wasn’t really so bad. It was actually a warm spring night, not in December as you imagine. We were okay.
Some shepherds dropped by to see us and it was all pretty awkward for everyone. It’s bad enough having a baby in a stable, without people you don’t even know showing up. They asked the usual questions; “When was he born?” “Couple hours ago.” “What ya gonna call him?” “Jesus.” And they told everyone that angels had sent them. People thought they were crazy. They thought they were crazy. But, by then, I was getting kinda used to angels. They were turning up everywhere. So I just added this to the list of strange things that were happening. So much to think about.
Over the years my life has been amazing. Sometimes everything was so normal I’d almost forget that there was anything different about Jesus. And then something would happen and it would start all over again. Sometimes he'd say dark things about the end that was coming, but I could never think that way. And, even after all these years, I still can hardly bear to think about it. O, to see your little boy like that.
Over the years they’ve called me lots of things: Blessed Virgin, Queen of Heaven, Mother of God. I know they mean well, but I like Servant of the Lord. It’s all I’ve ever been, and all I’ve ever really wanted to be. And if he asked me to do it all again, what would I say? “I am the Lord’s servant.” What else could I say? Like Ruth, Deborah, Esther, I just am.
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