Fighting
is exciting and brawling is enthralling, but at some point it begins to
threaten the game. It is, after all, baseball, hockey, football we really came to see.
Ottawa these days has been a classic
bench clearing brawl:
·
Five Senators were under
investigation by the Ethics Commissioner; now the entire Senate is being
audited and all Senators are suspect.
·
The Prime Minister’s Office is
at the centre of an RCMP investigation.
·
The Prime Minister’s right hand
man, Nigel Wright, was forced to resign for inappropriate, perhaps criminal
behaviour.
·
Justin Trudeau has been
charging charities $20,000 to speak at their events and, allegedly, skipping
votes in the House of Commons to do it.
·
Opposition Leader, Thomas
Mulcair, is alleged to have run several stop signs and hassled a cop.
·
Foreign Affairs Minister John
Baird, with six of his friends, stayed at the official residence of Canada’s
High Commissioner to Great Britain for eight days while on vacation in England
a while back.
·
The other day I heard a private
citizen claiming that he watched from the gallery as one of the Conservative
MPs played Angry Birds in Question
Period. I mean the video game, not the actual game he presumably thought she should
have been playing.
Thankfully Parliament is taking a break
for the summer and giving the dust a chance to settle. We might hope that the
substantive issues will continue to be investigated and the nonsensical,
diversionary issues will dissipate. And, while they’re vacationing, I hope
their mothers might take them aside and share with them a pearl of wisdom like
this one my mother shared with her wrangling children. It’s a cautionary tale
every child should know.
THE DUEL
by Eugene Field
The gingham dog
and the calico cat
Side by side on
the table sat;
'Twas half-past
twelve, and (what do you think!)
Nor one nor t'other
had slept a wink!
The old Dutch
clock and the Chinese plate
Appeared to know
as sure as fate
There was going
to be a terrible spat.
(I wasn't there; I simply state
What was told to me by the Chinese plate!)
The gingham dog
went "Bow-wow-wow!"
And the calico
cat replied "Mee-ow!"
The air was
littered, an hour or so,
With bits of
gingham and calico,
While the old
Dutch clock in the chimney-place
Up with its
hands before its face,
For it always
dreaded a family row!
(Now mind: I'm only telling you
What the old Dutch clock declares is true!)
The Chinese
plate looked very blue,
And wailed,
"Oh, dear! what shall we do!"
But the gingham
dog and the calico cat
Wallowed this
way and tumbled that,
Employing every
tooth and claw
In the awfullest
way you ever saw—
And, oh! how the
gingham and calico flew!
(Don't fancy I exaggerate—
I got my news from the Chinese plate!)
Next morning,
where the two had sat
They found no
trace of dog or cat;
And some folks
think unto this day
That burglars
stole that pair away!
But the truth
about the cat and pup
Is this: they
ate each other up!
Now what do you
really think of that!
(The old Dutch clock it told me so,
And that is how I came to know.)
Perhaps, when Parliament resumes in the
fall, no one will show up. Wouldn’t that be nice?